On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard

On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard

I don’t normally do this, but buckle up for a sappy blog post that was initially going to just be a Facebook status update but ended up turning into this monstrosity.

Two years and seventeen days ago, I messaged him on OKCupid and told him he was stunningly gorgeous.

But seriously though. Stunningly gorgeous, amirite?

We started talking online and did so for a couple weeks.

Two years ago today, I met Dan for coffee at the local Panera.

I wasn’t quite sure if it was actually a date since he was so recently out of his marriage, but I thought that it would be cool to have an offbeat friend in the area even if anything romantic was off the table. Though he was real pretty so I hoped that maybe we could do some smoochin’ eventually.

I warned him about my manic nervous energy and flailing muppet arms, and he generously shared a deep and honest portrait of himself as we talked for hours that first date.

When he texted me afterwards, thanking me for making his first date in 6 years “a non-scarring experience,” I was so honored. He told me I felt safe. That meant so much to me that he felt like he could be vulnerable with me so fast.

Continue reading “On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard”

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On My Fascination With Cemeteries, or Why I Actually Enjoy Visiting Graveyards and Other Creepy Stuff Wherever I Travel

On My Fascination With Cemeteries, or Why I Actually Enjoy Visiting Graveyards and Other Creepy Stuff Wherever I Travel

CW: Discussion of death, including that of babies and children

Last month, my boyfriend and I took a two week trip to Ireland, London, Paris and Amsterdam.  It was the first time we had ever been in Europe, and we decided that we’d love to straight-up move to Amsterdam if an opportunity arose.

I’ll eventually get around to writing about our experiences in each country, but I felt motivated to start by writing about my favorite part of traveling to new places:  visiting those weird, dark, unexpected spots where many people look at me blankly and ask, “But…why?”

I’ve always been fascinated by the weird, the dark, the macabre.  I loved reading about the Salem Witch Trials growing up.  I was fascinated with methods of medieval torture.  I loved ghost stories and the morbid histories of places.  I remember going to the library and checking out books about plagues and learning about the strange things people used to do in the name of medicine.  I remember being especially fascinated with the bit in a Laura Ingalls Wilder book about blowing up a pig bladder and using it as a kickball.

Yeah.  I’ve always been a bit strange.

Continue reading “On My Fascination With Cemeteries, or Why I Actually Enjoy Visiting Graveyards and Other Creepy Stuff Wherever I Travel”

On Pride, Intersectionality and Allies, or I Love Y’all But Don’t Take All the Damn Spots on the Float

On Pride, Intersectionality and Allies, or I Love Y’all But Don’t Take All the Damn Spots on the Float

Pride events are gearing up, and I have a lot to say about a few things that have been on my mind lately.

Even people entrenched in the LGBTQIA+ community may not know that the first Pride was celebrated to commemorate the one year anniversary of the Stonewall Riots which occurred in 1969.

The Stonewall Inn in New York City was a popular bar where the poorest and most marginalized people in the queer community congregated, including butch lesbians, drag queens and transgender individuals, effeminate gay men, homeless youth, and queer sex workers.

In the 1960s, homosexuality was still illegal and it was also required that an individual wore at least three items of clothing that matched their gender assigned to them at birth.

Police raids were common, but since the Stonewall was run by the mafia who profited off their clientele, they generally paid off the police.

In June of 1969, the two hundred-some patrons of the Stonewall Inn were raided by police. Their IDs were checked and recorded and some police took customers dressed as women to the bathroom to “verify their sex.” There was inappropriate handling of queer women by police.  And they had collectively had enough.

Continue reading “On Pride, Intersectionality and Allies, or I Love Y’all But Don’t Take All the Damn Spots on the Float”

On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons

On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons

(I needed a photo for this post for the link image and I couldn’t think of anything non-cheesy for the life of me, so here, have these silly photos.)

I was meaning to write a blog post this weekend but couldn’t figure out a subject that I felt strongly about at the moment.  And you know how I just need to really FEEL something to wordvomit a blog post.

And then I got a Facebook message from an ex that I had dated right before my ex wife.  It had been a few years since we had talked and I was reminded of some things that I had said while we were together that I had been meaning to apologize for.

That sent me into Contemplation Mode, where I began to think about my exes and what I’ve learned over my nearly fifteen years of dating, including six serious boyfriends, one girlfriend-turned-wife-turned-ex-wife, a handful of casual things and/or Things I Wished Had Been, and random dating here and there.

I have full respect for those people who date one or two people and find The One and settle down, but I know that, for me, I’m grateful for the variety of people I’ve dated because I’ve learned so much about what I want and need in a partner, what kind of partner I want to be, and what I want my identity to be while in a relationship.   Even if that means I’ve been in way more messed up situations and experienced more heartbreak than I’d have liked.

Continue reading “On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons”

On My Queer Identity While I’m Dating A Dude, or: Hey There, I’m Still Queer Anyway

On My Queer Identity While I’m Dating A Dude, or: Hey There, I’m Still Queer Anyway

The last time I blogged about this subject, it was rather hypothetical.  About eight months out of my marriage to a woman, I discussed my queer identity and my fears about beginning to date again.

For the first 25 years of my life, I had publicly identified as straight.  There was a whole lot going on under the surface there, and I had begun to realize my queerness a couple years before.  I had been an outspoken ally for the LGBTQ+ community in college when I began to realize that perhaps it wasn’t actually a sin to be gay and people couldn’t choose to be homosexual, but the process of coming out to myself was a longer one.

Continue reading “On My Queer Identity While I’m Dating A Dude, or: Hey There, I’m Still Queer Anyway”

On Podcasts Part Two, or How I Just Keep Adding To My Ridiculous List of Things I Listen To And Want You To Know About

On Podcasts Part Two, or How I Just Keep Adding To My Ridiculous List of Things I Listen To And Want You To Know About

Around this time last year, I wrote a blog post about how podcasts have affected my life in huge ways, including helping me through my divorce and generally keep me sane and focused at work.

If you want an overview of my favorites, you should probably start with my old post here but I think I’ll probably reiterate the highlights in this post.  I actually have stopped listening to some of those I wrote about last year, but most of them still hold up.  I’ve just moved on to different things in my quest for maximizing enjoyment while following way too many podcasts!

But today, I’m going to add to that list.  I’ve discovered tons of amazing new podcasts that you should know about over the past year.

 

Continue reading “On Podcasts Part Two, or How I Just Keep Adding To My Ridiculous List of Things I Listen To And Want You To Know About”

On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups

On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups

It’s been forever.

My last post was half a year ago.

Whoa.

A lot of that can be owed to the fact that my laptop has been only vaguely functional for…years now, and then there was this fun phenomenon in which my S, W, X, 2, and 9 weren’t working (I legit did my taxes by copy-and-pasting the necessary numbers…) and then I just realized I could buy a USB keyboard for $12…

Oops.

Well, anyway, it’s been a while.  I’ve had ideas every once in a while for blog posts that never quite made it to fruition, or the prospect of typing it up on my phone just seemed like a terrible plan.

But also, I often find it easier to write when I’m in Supreme Emotional Turmoil and…I’ve been more or less…Happy™ lately?

Don’t get me wrong, this world is a shitshow garbage fire full of farts and half of my life is spent in avoidance of the news because it’s the only way I can keep myself from an anxiety-ridden meltdown, but personally, things are pretty okay.

Continue reading “On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups”