On Going Out Alone, or The Wordvomit I Wrote While Sitting Alone At A Bar

On Going Out Alone, or The Wordvomit I Wrote While Sitting Alone At A Bar

I’ve actually lived in my current town for a grand total of 5 months, three of which I was wallowing in some serious post-divorce feels.  I have some nice coworkers, but I still haven’t really found my people. 

So here I am, faced with several weeks of no work and no idea what the hell to do.

So tonight, I decided to conduct…an experiment.

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On The Institution of Marriage, or How Aziz Ansari’s “Master of None” Pretty Much Nails It

I wanted to watch comedian Aziz Ansari’s Netflix original show Master of None when it first came out.  My friends were all raving about it, all my feminist news sites I follow were praising it for its “woke-ness,” and I was in the mood for a good new show.

But it came out at the beginning of November last year, a month and a half after I moved out of my Chicago apartment, leaving behind  (not by my choice) my marriage and soon to be ex wife.

And, from what I had read about it,  the show talked a lot about relationships and marriage.

And, at this point, seeing even my Facebook friends post anything remotely regarding their relationships was like stabbing a knife between my ribs.

So I decided that, perhaps, it would be wise for my mental health to wait a while.

Months passed, raw wounds scabbed over, and I began to move on.

It has now been a full year since the downward spiral of my marriage, and, dammit, it was time to give the show a watch.

Continue reading “On The Institution of Marriage, or How Aziz Ansari’s “Master of None” Pretty Much Nails It”

My Year of the Rabbit, or How This Year Has Completely Refashioned Me

One year ago, I was preparing to leave my summer job at Glimmerglass, completely unsure as to what I was returning to back home in Chicago.

My wife of less than a year had entirely stopped talking with me out of the blue two months prior, weeks after I had left for the summer, like I had the past four summers with her.

I’m not going to rehash it here. I’ve already written about it at length.

Things were rough. I was rough.  I hadn’t been happy in years, so utterly swallowed by a depression and crippling anxiety that I thought that the rest of my life was going to be merely existing, and feeling guilty the whole time because I was no doubt a miserable excuse for a partner. 

I was pretty sure I was headed home to a divorce, and I was right.  On our one year wedding anniversary, my wife told me no amount of counseling could fix us and she wanted a divorce as quickly as possible. 

Before I had left Glimmerglass, my friend gave me a small stone rabbit, telling me, “Rabbits are a symbol of change and rebirth.  I just know that this will be your Year of the Rabbit.  You have no idea what is going to happen, but I know it is going to get better for you.”

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On Michigan’s Pictured Rocks, or How A Touristy Boat Tour Reminded Me About Our Brief Eden

On Michigan’s Pictured Rocks, or How A Touristy Boat Tour Reminded Me About Our Brief Eden

***Family warning:  I know some of you read this, so this is a disclaimer that I talk about some past relationship details you may not care to know.  (Though nothing too saucy.) Read at your own risk.****

Today was weird.  I’m currently on a trip with my parents in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.  And this is the first time I’ve been up here since a camping trip with The Guy I Thought I Was Going to Marry.

And, on a boat tour along the shoreline of the Pictured Rocks Lakeshore along Lake Superior, I saw it again.  Our Beach. 

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I’m hesitant to share this, because it was our experience. Our secret.  A beautiful moment in my life.  But I can no longer reminisce about it with him, and it deserves to live on, so I bequeath it to you, even if you choose to deem it silly or forget about it completely. 

Okay, that’s enough sentimental bullshit. On to the story.

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