On Turning 31, or Reflections on My 30th Year and Realizing This Is Gonna Be An Awesome Decade

On Turning 31, or Reflections on My 30th Year and Realizing This Is Gonna Be An Awesome Decade

This time last year, I wrote a post about my anxiety about turning 30.  My birthday is next week, and I’m happy to report that I survived my first year of this new decade!

30th birthday
My friends decorated my workspace last year for my 30th birthday because they are The Best™

A lot of the goals and life skills that I had begun to set in motion at this point last year have solidified into some Real Adult Habits and Practices.

Continue reading “On Turning 31, or Reflections on My 30th Year and Realizing This Is Gonna Be An Awesome Decade”

On My New Normal, or Moving On After My Divorce

On My New Normal, or Moving On After My Divorce

It has now been one year and eight months since shit began to hit the fan with my marriage.

Next month, it will be one year since my divorce was finalized.

I moved halfway across the country and began a new job one year and three months ago.

I moved into my current, cozy little studio apartment with my dumpstercat Chet one year ago this week.

I began casually dating eight months ago, convinced that I wanted to “play the field” and try out “ethical non-monogamy.”

About five months ago, I began dating this super cool guy, and about three months ago, I realized that I had no interest in non-monogamy or “playing the field” anymore and I was perfectly content to be in a “real” relationship again.  No anxiety about what I could be missing, etc.  And no weird residual hangups about my divorce.  It’s pretty awesome.

I have settled into my new life.  My New Normal.  Nestled into the cozy reliability of a routine, a steady paycheck, a great health insurance plan (for now…), a place of my own, and reliable snuggles.

Continue reading “On My New Normal, or Moving On After My Divorce”

2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?

2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?

2016.  Oh, where do I start?

I’ve seen dozens of think pieces, of Facebook posts from friends and strangers, telling me how I should feel about myself and my outlook on this year.  I should feel lucky, I should take a good hard look at myself and realize that it’s all my damn fault that I’m not happy (forget about the fact that we have no control over some very serious shit that can happen like death and poverty and mental illness and abuse and it’s a very victim-blaming way to think about it to tell us we can just snap out of it.)

Personally, I’ll admit that 2015 was the bigger dumpster fire for me.  That was when my depression had gotten its worst ever, and shit hit the fan with my marriage.  2016 has been a year of growth and rebuilding my life.

But for this country, 2016 has thrust me into a huge amount of worry.  But that’s out of my control in many ways.

So what are my take-aways for 2016?  What have I learned?  How have I changed?

Ohhh, buddy.  If you only knew.

Continue reading “2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?”

On IUDs, or How No Matter What Happens In The White House, I’m 99.9% Guaranteed Baby Free For The Next Ten Years

On IUDs, or How No Matter What Happens In The White House, I’m 99.9% Guaranteed Baby Free For The Next Ten Years

DISCLAIMER:  This post is about my own experiences researching and getting an IUD.  I am definitely not a medical professional and this isn’t medical advice.  But hopefully this can help you decide if IUDs are a worthwhile birth control method to speak with your doctor about, and what to expect if you choose to get one.

Due to the outcome of this U.S. presidential election, people with uteruses are asking a lot of unanswerable questions about what may happen to their bodies over the next four years.

Many of my friends have birth control through “Obamacare”/the Affordable Care Act and, the way our President Elect has been talking, he intends to do away with this.

There have recently been some articles circulating that he recently met with Obama and “wants to keep parts of Obamacare”. The two aspects he mentioned are barring insurance companies from rejecting people for pre-existing conditions and allowing people to stay on their parents’ insurance until they are 26.

Unfortunately, that leaves countless people with uteruses (I say it this way because some transmen have uteruses as well) wondering if they will still have easy and affordable access to birth control options within the next year.

The IUD or “Intrauterine Device” has been the buzz amongst my friends this past week.

Based upon which type you get, once installed, it is good for 3-10 years! This means that, for many people, they could have worry-free birth control that could last them until this hopefully blows over.

I had an IUD installed this spring, the copper Paragard version, and I have been planning to write about my experience and my choice for a while. But now it is more pertinent than ever. I have been talking with several friends individually about it, so I thought it was now the time for me to write this thing!

Continue reading “On IUDs, or How No Matter What Happens In The White House, I’m 99.9% Guaranteed Baby Free For The Next Ten Years”

On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature

On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature

Preface: I’m pretty adamant about the fact that I don’t want to have kids, and I will be discussing these thoughts and feelings in this post. It does not mean I think poorly of those who do, who want to, or who wish they could have children. These are only my own personal beliefs and they are not meant to hurt anyone in any way. 



When I started college twelve years ago as an 18 year old freshman, I was given an assignment: write a letter to my future self, outlining where I saw myself at graduation and then my 10 year plan.

As a freshman, I planned on focusing on musical theatre performance, perhaps taking some classes in education. I wanted to run a musical theatre company for youth similar to the one I attended as a homeschooler throughout high school.

So that meant I would graduate with my musical theatre focused degree at age 22.

By age 24 or maybe 25 at the latest, I would be married to a wonderful guy.

And a couple years after that at 26 or 27, I would have my first kid. My second would follow a couple years later, so I would have my intended two children by the time I was 30.

I’m now 30, and the only thing that happened in that 10 year plan was “I graduated with some sort of degree at age 22.”

And I did get married, but it was to a woman.

And that marriage was over by the time I hit 30.

And now, I don’t even want any of that.

Let’s back up.

Continue reading “On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature”

On Going Out Alone, or The Wordvomit I Wrote While Sitting Alone At A Bar

On Going Out Alone, or The Wordvomit I Wrote While Sitting Alone At A Bar

I’ve actually lived in my current town for a grand total of 5 months, three of which I was wallowing in some serious post-divorce feels.  I have some nice coworkers, but I still haven’t really found my people. 

So here I am, faced with several weeks of no work and no idea what the hell to do.

So tonight, I decided to conduct…an experiment.

Continue reading “On Going Out Alone, or The Wordvomit I Wrote While Sitting Alone At A Bar”

On “Age Appropriate Behavior” or Sometimes I Just Want To Dance Around A Campfire With People Ten Years Younger Than Me, Don’t Judge Me! 

On “Age Appropriate Behavior” or Sometimes I Just Want To Dance Around A Campfire With People Ten Years Younger Than Me, Don’t Judge Me! 

Here at “Opera Camp,” I’m surrounded by a huge variety of people. And, as the cheesy saying goes, “I keep getting older as those interns stay the same age.”  
I can’t be sure, but I would guess that if you averaged out the ages of all of the seasonal employees here, it would be about 24.   That means that my subset of “acceptable age range” friends is getting smaller every year.

It’s been made painfully clear to me lately how socially starved I have become over the past year after moving to Delaware, so I find myself grasping at any and all social events this summer.  

So if I decide that I want to put myself out there and be social for the first time in years, I have a few choices:

I can have “quiet nights in” with some friends closer to my age (though my demographic is quite small) which is pretty much like my last five years has been if I’m being generous, or go out for dinner and spend way too much money. This is also keeping my friend circle quite small and homogenous, meaning: late 20s to early 30s women who work in the costume shop…

Or…

I can drink hard ciders on the porch with a wider group of people, most of whom are 20-26 years old. I get to meet new people from other areas and allow myself to have some silly fun for the first time in years. And many of these people actually have more common interests with me than people my own age. 

Continue reading “On “Age Appropriate Behavior” or Sometimes I Just Want To Dance Around A Campfire With People Ten Years Younger Than Me, Don’t Judge Me! “