On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups

On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups

It’s been forever.

My last post was half a year ago.

Whoa.

A lot of that can be owed to the fact that my laptop has been only vaguely functional for…years now, and then there was this fun phenomenon in which my S, W, X, 2, and 9 weren’t working (I legit did my taxes by copy-and-pasting the necessary numbers…) and then I just realized I could buy a USB keyboard for $12…

Oops.

Well, anyway, it’s been a while.  I’ve had ideas every once in a while for blog posts that never quite made it to fruition, or the prospect of typing it up on my phone just seemed like a terrible plan.

But also, I often find it easier to write when I’m in Supreme Emotional Turmoil and…I’ve been more or less…Happy™ lately?

Don’t get me wrong, this world is a shitshow garbage fire full of farts and half of my life is spent in avoidance of the news because it’s the only way I can keep myself from an anxiety-ridden meltdown, but personally, things are pretty okay.

Continue reading “On Being A Happy And Well Adjusted Adult, or How I’m Trying To Figure Out How To Do My Eyebrows The Way The Kids Do and Also Live To Tell The Tale of Vegan Instant Pot Facebook Groups”

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The Life Timeline, Reexamined or How Sometimes It Feels Like I’m So Behind But Also I Guess What Is A Normal Life Nowadays Anyway?

The Life Timeline, Reexamined or How Sometimes It Feels Like I’m So Behind But Also I Guess What Is A Normal Life Nowadays Anyway?

I grew up in a conservative family, homeschooled from second grade all the way through high school. (The well runs deep if you wish to read more about this subject…) and then attended a private Christian college for undergrad.

So, it’s not at all surprising that I tell you that a great many/the majority of my friends from that period of my life are married, have a house and 2-4 kids by now.

But I chose to work in theatre, where things tend to work out a little differently.

Continue reading “The Life Timeline, Reexamined or How Sometimes It Feels Like I’m So Behind But Also I Guess What Is A Normal Life Nowadays Anyway?”

2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?

2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?

2016.  Oh, where do I start?

I’ve seen dozens of think pieces, of Facebook posts from friends and strangers, telling me how I should feel about myself and my outlook on this year.  I should feel lucky, I should take a good hard look at myself and realize that it’s all my damn fault that I’m not happy (forget about the fact that we have no control over some very serious shit that can happen like death and poverty and mental illness and abuse and it’s a very victim-blaming way to think about it to tell us we can just snap out of it.)

Personally, I’ll admit that 2015 was the bigger dumpster fire for me.  That was when my depression had gotten its worst ever, and shit hit the fan with my marriage.  2016 has been a year of growth and rebuilding my life.

But for this country, 2016 has thrust me into a huge amount of worry.  But that’s out of my control in many ways.

So what are my take-aways for 2016?  What have I learned?  How have I changed?

Ohhh, buddy.  If you only knew.

Continue reading “2016 In Review, or What Do Quinoa Bowls and Three Brothers From West Virginia Have To Do With My Mental Health and Self Care?”

On My Journey to Being A Bleeding-Heart-Liberal, or How My Christian College Made Me This Way

On My Journey to Being A Bleeding-Heart-Liberal, or How My Christian College Made Me This Way

CW:  Homophobic slurs, gay bashing, hate speech against people of color

I was born into one of those nuclear families, with two parents who were still together, one slightly younger sister, and various dogs, cats, bunnies, lizards and an ill-fated hedgehog.

spaanstra-family
Our church photo from the early 1990s.  My sister and I were wearing dresses my mom made for us.
We went to church every Sunday, and lived in a conservative area in the Midwest, surrounded by the homogeneity of other blonde haired, blue eyed people of predominantly Dutch heritage.

Continue reading “On My Journey to Being A Bleeding-Heart-Liberal, or How My Christian College Made Me This Way”

On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature

On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature

Preface: I’m pretty adamant about the fact that I don’t want to have kids, and I will be discussing these thoughts and feelings in this post. It does not mean I think poorly of those who do, who want to, or who wish they could have children. These are only my own personal beliefs and they are not meant to hurt anyone in any way. 



When I started college twelve years ago as an 18 year old freshman, I was given an assignment: write a letter to my future self, outlining where I saw myself at graduation and then my 10 year plan.

As a freshman, I planned on focusing on musical theatre performance, perhaps taking some classes in education. I wanted to run a musical theatre company for youth similar to the one I attended as a homeschooler throughout high school.

So that meant I would graduate with my musical theatre focused degree at age 22.

By age 24 or maybe 25 at the latest, I would be married to a wonderful guy.

And a couple years after that at 26 or 27, I would have my first kid. My second would follow a couple years later, so I would have my intended two children by the time I was 30.

I’m now 30, and the only thing that happened in that 10 year plan was “I graduated with some sort of degree at age 22.”

And I did get married, but it was to a woman.

And that marriage was over by the time I hit 30.

And now, I don’t even want any of that.

Let’s back up.

Continue reading “On Being A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children, or How Puppy Sitting Made Me Even More Aware of My Selfish and Un-nurturing Nature”

On Homeschooling Part Two, or Amanda’s Mom Tells Her Side of the Story

On Homeschooling Part Two, or Amanda’s Mom Tells Her Side of the Story

Hey there, folks! After the positive response to my recent post about growing up homeschooled, my mom had a few corrections and additions to some of my statements. As a six year old, I guess my memory was a little foggy. I invited her to write about her own experience as a homeschooling mom to share on this blog. (While proofreading this piece, I was struck by how similar our writing styles are! And I learned things I had never known before.)
–Amanda

Amanda and her mom/guest blogger Bonnie in 2014

After finishing reading Amanda’s blog about her life as a homeschooler and how it may or may not have helped to mold her into the person she is now, I had an issue with one thing….how Michigan is one of the easiest states to homeschool in. The word “IS” is now true, but it wasn’t at the time. When we started to homeschool it was actually illegal for me to do so.

So let’s go back three decades.

Continue reading “On Homeschooling Part Two, or Amanda’s Mom Tells Her Side of the Story”