I don’t normally do this, but buckle up for a sappy blog post that was initially going to just be a Facebook status update but ended up turning into this monstrosity.
Two years and seventeen days ago, I messaged him on OKCupid and told him he was stunningly gorgeous.
We started talking online and did so for a couple weeks.
Two years ago today, I met Dan for coffee at the local Panera.
I wasn’t quite sure if it was actually a date since he was so recently out of his marriage, but I thought that it would be cool to have an offbeat friend in the area even if anything romantic was off the table. Though he was real pretty so I hoped that maybe we could do some smoochin’ eventually.
I warned him about my manic nervous energy and flailing muppet arms, and he generously shared a deep and honest portrait of himself as we talked for hours that first date.
When he texted me afterwards, thanking me for making his first date in 6 years “a non-scarring experience,” I was so honored. He told me I felt safe. That meant so much to me that he felt like he could be vulnerable with me so fast.
(I needed a photo for this post for the link image and I couldn’t think of anything non-cheesy for the life of me, so here, have these silly photos.)
I was meaning to write a blog post this weekend but couldn’t figure out a subject that I felt strongly about at the moment. And you know how I just need to really FEEL something to wordvomit a blog post.
And then I got a Facebook message from an ex that I had dated right before my ex wife. It had been a few years since we had talked and I was reminded of some things that I had said while we were together that I had been meaning to apologize for.
That sent me into Contemplation Mode, where I began to think about my exes and what I’ve learned over my nearly fifteen years of dating, including six serious boyfriends, one girlfriend-turned-wife-turned-ex-wife, a handful of casual things and/or Things I Wished Had Been, and random dating here and there.
I have full respect for those people who date one or two people and find The One and settle down, but I know that, for me, I’m grateful for the variety of people I’ve dated because I’ve learned so much about what I want and need in a partner, what kind of partner I want to be, and what I want my identity to be while in a relationship. Even if that means I’ve been in way more messed up situations and experienced more heartbreak than I’d have liked.