On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard

On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard

I don’t normally do this, but buckle up for a sappy blog post that was initially going to just be a Facebook status update but ended up turning into this monstrosity.

Two years and seventeen days ago, I messaged him on OKCupid and told him he was stunningly gorgeous.

But seriously though. Stunningly gorgeous, amirite?

We started talking online and did so for a couple weeks.

Two years ago today, I met Dan for coffee at the local Panera.

I wasn’t quite sure if it was actually a date since he was so recently out of his marriage, but I thought that it would be cool to have an offbeat friend in the area even if anything romantic was off the table. Though he was real pretty so I hoped that maybe we could do some smoochin’ eventually.

I warned him about my manic nervous energy and flailing muppet arms, and he generously shared a deep and honest portrait of himself as we talked for hours that first date.

When he texted me afterwards, thanking me for making his first date in 6 years “a non-scarring experience,” I was so honored. He told me I felt safe. That meant so much to me that he felt like he could be vulnerable with me so fast.

Continue reading “On Our Second Anniversary or How “That Date Was A Non-Scarring Experience” Was One Of The Best Things I’ve Ever Heard”

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On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons

On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons

(I needed a photo for this post for the link image and I couldn’t think of anything non-cheesy for the life of me, so here, have these silly photos.)

I was meaning to write a blog post this weekend but couldn’t figure out a subject that I felt strongly about at the moment.  And you know how I just need to really FEEL something to wordvomit a blog post.

And then I got a Facebook message from an ex that I had dated right before my ex wife.  It had been a few years since we had talked and I was reminded of some things that I had said while we were together that I had been meaning to apologize for.

That sent me into Contemplation Mode, where I began to think about my exes and what I’ve learned over my nearly fifteen years of dating, including six serious boyfriends, one girlfriend-turned-wife-turned-ex-wife, a handful of casual things and/or Things I Wished Had Been, and random dating here and there.

I have full respect for those people who date one or two people and find The One and settle down, but I know that, for me, I’m grateful for the variety of people I’ve dated because I’ve learned so much about what I want and need in a partner, what kind of partner I want to be, and what I want my identity to be while in a relationship.   Even if that means I’ve been in way more messed up situations and experienced more heartbreak than I’d have liked.

Continue reading “On Things I’ve Learned Through Relationships, or What Fifteen Years of Dating Has Taught Me And Hopefully I’ve Learned My Lessons”