A lot of that can be owed to the fact that my laptop has been only vaguely functional for…years now, and then there was this fun phenomenon in which my S, W, X, 2, and 9 weren’t working (I legit did my taxes by copy-and-pasting the necessary numbers…) and then I just realized I could buy a USB keyboard for $12…
Well, anyway, it’s been a while. I’ve had ideas every once in a while for blog posts that never quite made it to fruition, or the prospect of typing it up on my phone just seemed like a terrible plan.
But also, I often find it easier to write when I’m in Supreme Emotional Turmoil and…I’ve been more or less…Happy™ lately?
Don’t get me wrong, this world is a shitshow garbage fire full of farts and half of my life is spent in avoidance of the news because it’s the only way I can keep myself from an anxiety-ridden meltdown, but personally, things are pretty okay.
I grew up in a conservative family, homeschooled from second grade all the way through high school. (The well runs deep if you wish to read more about this subject…) and then attended a private Christian college for undergrad.
So, it’s not at all surprising that I tell you that a great many/the majority of my friends from that period of my life are married, have a house and 2-4 kids by now.
But I chose to work in theatre, where things tend to work out a little differently.
Here at “Opera Camp,” I’m surrounded by a huge variety of people. And, as the cheesy saying goes, “I keep getting older as those interns stay the same age.”
I can’t be sure, but I would guess that if you averaged out the ages of all of the seasonal employees here, it would be about 24. That means that my subset of “acceptable age range” friends is getting smaller every year.
It’s been made painfully clear to me lately how socially starved I have become over the past year after moving to Delaware, so I find myself grasping at any and all social events this summer.
So if I decide that I want to put myself out there and be social for the first time in years, I have a few choices:
I can have “quiet nights in” with some friends closer to my age (though my demographic is quite small) which is pretty much like my last five years has been if I’m being generous, or go out for dinner and spend way too much money. This is also keeping my friend circle quite small and homogenous, meaning: late 20s to early 30s women who work in the costume shop…
I can drink hard ciders on the porch with a wider group of people, most of whom are 20-26 years old. I get to meet new people from other areas and allow myself to have some silly fun for the first time in years. And many of these people actually have more common interests with me than people my own age.
I know I’m still super young, but this is my first “milestone birthday” since I was 21. (Well, 25 but I’ve never rented a car so that one was pretty irrelevant.) I’m having a tiny bit of an existential crisis.
I feel like 30 is that age in which you really start adulting.
It’s so weird. When I was in college, I thought that 25 was super “adult.” I would have been out of school for a couple years, and definitely would have gotten my life together.
And then I hit 25 when I was in grad school and was still eating Ben and Jerry’s with my face buried into the container with no spoon while driving home from grad school at midnight and I realized that I was far from it.