Who am I?
That question gets more and more difficult to answer as time goes on because of its intricacies and complexities, and yet my identity it is slowly crystallizing before me.
I am turning 30 in a month and ten days.
I am newly divorced (3/28/16, ya’ll.)
I was in a same-sex marriage for one year and seven months from wedding to finalized divorce.
I married my first girlfriend.
I am attracted to people of all gender identities and expressions.
I am vaguely-genderqueer-but-mostly-female.
I have had severe battles with depression and anxiety since high school. I am just now pulling myself out of a pit I had found myself in for at least three years.
I have shaved my head for over six years, and I feel my most attractive and confident when I do so.
I have lost 50 pounds over the past year (initially due to stress, anxiety, then a healthier diet and exercise and a healthy dose of Wellbutrin.)
I was rendered completely asexual by Lexapro for years.
I grew up homeschooled in a very conservative environment. I am now extremely liberal, but I still seek faith and spirituality, as long as I can find a place of worship that I feel welcomed into.
My senior photo, Fall 2003. To those who know me now, I would be
unrecognizable in every single way from who I was then.
Some may call me the ultimate conundrum.
When I think about all of my identities and their strange conflicting aspects, I realize it’s probably pretty difficult for many people to wrap their head around.
But here I find myself in a new job, in a new state halfway across the country from everything I have ever known, having to “explain myself” to an entirely new batch of people.
Continue reading “And so it begins…”